I reflect on that day with a smile on my
face. It reminds me of a place where my
good friend Sara is standing on this very day.
Before her there are so many obstacles.
Many more nay sayers, critics and cynics. We recently spent an evening together,
sitting along the same river I swam, on a bench along the banks of this furious
beast. Personally I was at such peace
with where I have come, and she was at a crossroads. She could take the road less traveled, the hard
way, or just walk away from a man standing on the opposite bank patiently
waiting her decision. She and Ben had separated
and had both come to peace with life apart.
Sara recently had an epiphany of sorts, mentioned in a previous post, and
our paths crossed during what seemed like a miraculous time for both of us. She knew of my past, and wanted someone from
the outside to just hear the thoughts swirling through her head. She was incredibly honest and raw on that
bench. Her words flowed as smooth as the
river. The clarity within her flowed as
peacefully from her lips, as the river flowed past us. The way across, back to Ben, was anything
but. The complexity, social reactions,
and challenges would be mercurial at best.
Yet, sitting beside me that day, as the sun faded, all I could hear was
a woman so full of grace and compassion.
That compassion was not soaked with regret, guilt, or misguided
beliefs. It was solid! Laden with the thoughts of a family. Sara seemed to have stepped beyond the
present, and was looking past this prime time, into tomorrow. What was important to her yesterday suddenly
seemed a smaller part of the puzzle. I
believe Sara realized the reality of the inevitable. We are all on borrowed time. Life is not infinite. Time is contagious, and we are all getting
old. Her thoughts were broadening and
her world was glowing. I sat there in
awe at the clarity she exhibited. She
knew it was time to slow down. Time to
try and see what was on the other side.
If for nothing else, peace of mind that the man standing on that opposite
bank was someone she had loved with all of her heart and she needed to be sure
of what she was doing.
We all change. Seasons change, tides change, and rivers
change. The seeds of love that we have
for someone stay forever, in my opinion.
She had silenced so much in her world and she suddenly realized that
from those seeds there were small blossoms emerging. The chaotic life around her slowed enough for
her to look across and see him still standing there, still connected. How could she navigate these currents of
discontent? How is it that she had the
grace to see the discontentment in her life and to look across and see a ray of
hope? Who knows, but whether she walks
from those banks into tomorrow, or carries onward towards Ben, and possibly
into a sea of reconciliation…it all matters not on this day. Stopping long enough to be quiet, look
deeply, look across, and acknowledge that man is enough for me to stand up
today and applaud each of them. To
applaud the heart within this woman, and the fortitude of love. Could they make it? If they want!
Could they find love within each other again? ABSOLUTELY.
As the swirling mess between them rages, they can choose. They may not be able to swim it as I did, and
who’d want to? But they can build a
bridge! They can do the work to meet in
the middle. Building that bridge a day
at a time, one step at a time. When they
get there, to the middle, they can stand and talk, get to know one another
again, and stare down at the mess of the past..as it flows harmlessly below
them. They can choose to go back the way
each of them came, but at least they will have met in the middle and looked
down into that abyss. They can take a
moment there to find clarity and peace.
If they are lucky, maybe what they feel is not resentment, regret,
anger..but a hand reaching for their own.
To me, that very act, of meeting there has such power and grace! We could all learn from people like
this. We can all see the distance between
one another..build a bridge..and get over it!
