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| Photo: Brian Clark |
Standing in the
kitchen window in the warm morning light, staring as the frost melts and steam
arises from the fence, watching as the autumn leaves fall from the cottonwood
outside my looking glass, I ponder the deadening silence surrounding me. It’s early and I’ve been awake for hours
processing…photographs, life, recent events, and the ghosts that chase me in
the night and keep me tossing and turning, my bed sheets a tangled mess, my
pillows soaked in tears and sweat. Life
can be a challenge at times for sure, but there are moments in all of our lives
where we are stripped of our dignity and left to question our very own
worth. Staring out at that morning
light, seeing the freshness in the air and the change in the seasons reminded
me of these times and the beautiful opportunity it provides us to rediscover
all that we “are” and to shed all that weighs us down and holds us back from
the potential we all have within. When
we find ourselves in the darkness of life’s shade, sometimes all we need to do
is step into the warm light and see the empty canvass before us, and embrace
the opportunity to become all that we are, can be, and will be.
The ebb and flow of
life’s challenges can be stifling and disconcerting if it’s allowed to fester
and boil inside of you. The challenges
we face can stop us dead in our tracks or we can sit quietly and look within
while staring dead on at the challenges ahead.
Searching for the light around us can only help to guide us on the
journey of our lives. Like the chill in
this morning’s cold autumn air, the fear of change can chill me to the
bone. Standing and watching those leaves
make their mercurial journey to the already leaf laden yard reminded me that
life is emulated in nature. Our path
isn’t always clear and we may find ourselves floating and fleeting in the winds
at times, but ultimately we get to where we are supposed to be. Like those leaves our life too is so full of
color and change. When we try and hold
onto that which we are not meant to, we only prolong the inevitable. The leaves turn colors, they fall when they
are supposed to fall, they make the descent to where their flight and ultimate
decay lead to new growth. The sun will
rise again and add its warmth to the cold chilly frost. There were so many metaphors staring out that
window..that looking glass into life’s lessons and natures beauty. I stood paralyzed by the beauty of it all.
When the seasons of
change and unexpected shifts within our life span leave us feeling inadequate,
like we’ve failed, or like we simply don’t belong anywhere, it’s such a
comforting reminder to look out beyond our current experience deeper into that
light. To give ourselves fully to the
moments in our life is, in my opinion, one of the greatest treasures that we
can discover. Fear begets fear..hate
begets hate..anger begets anger..so on and so forth. The willingness to sit quietly, observe,
accept, and let go are so critical to finding my way through this life. Looking within and finding my way there,
instead of looking outward and blaming is unequivocally the single most important
thing for me right now, for my only power lies in changing myself. While we can’t avoid the inevitable and while
seasons will change, we can look at the way we react to these things and make
adjustments within. To look to others,
their faults, and become angry because you cannot influence an outcome is
tantamount to throwing a temper tantrum because you can’t stop the leaves from
falling. Life has a way of working
itself out and time waits for no one.
Looking out that window reminded me that as winter approaches and as
seasons give way to new seasons, life is meant to be lived and letting go is a
big step in that direction. Let the
leaves fall where they may and let the light in to melt the frost. As the seasons of change fall upon your life,
look within for the strength to endure.
