Arising from
the cold winter mist, bathed in moonlight and frosty glitter, we approached in
laughter and childish exuberance. A
magical evening full of libations, friends, and laughter was so abruptly terminated
by a single moment. It’s astounding how
deep words can cut and how exhausting a single moment can be, but with the help
from truly amazing people, the night was turned one hundred and eighty degrees
and that fantastic evening became this moment in a pasture bathed in silver
moonlight. She was new to our circle, a
mere outsider hours before, and yet she was able to turn something so dismal
into one of the most magical moments of my life. We pulled over in her Jeep at what appeared
to be a random turn off, but her plan was in motion already. We were there to meet Corona, her horse and
beloved friend. He was out there
somewhere in that pasture. We had no
light but that of the moon and we had no direction but to head for the
apparition’s in the distance. We laughed
and joked, hopped through the fields, and became lost in the conversation and
laughter. Lost in our own space we
simply walked towards the moonlit pines, the sound of the river in the distance,
and the profile of the majestic mountains all around us.
As the apparitions began to form more dominant
figures in the night, my gait slowed and my heart began to pound. Where was Corona and why were there so many
more before us? She gently pulled me
along, sensing my trepidation and the slowing of my pace. Her smile radiant in that silver light, reassuring
and comforting, telling me to relax and just be. Slowly, one by one, they began to rise, move,
or stir from their slumber. I could see
the mist exiting from deep within their powerful lungs. I could hear the flutter of air passing from
a peaceful core into the nights chill. As
they ascend from their slumber, collectively recognizing the presence of two
outsiders, my pulse began to race and I desperately wanted to flee the
gathering assemblage before me. She
simply continued forward, looking over her shoulder and smiling, and I suddenly
realized that I was in this far and I needed to trust one with better sense
with these creatures. It was all I had
to move forward into the clutch of these ghosts in the night. To walk towards the fog of their exhales felt
like I was walking through their very souls, dancing with the essence of their
very breath.
These beautiful creatures came alive in that
instant. Trotting about, grunting,
circling, some curious with delight at our presence. Some timid in the cool frigid air. Powerfully, peacefully, and delicately they
all seemed to come in close. Encircling
us with their grace and covering us with their souls, steam arising from their
backs. The air felt charged with
electric energy from their abounding rhythm as they darted in and out, or dancing
gracefully on the outskirts of the gathering herd. I stood paralyzed in utter exuberance. I found myself face to face with one of the
pack and what ensued is something that I will take with me to my final breath. A white horse approached from the darkness,
unhindered, unafraid, and directly at me.
He put his head down as I extended my hand and gently sniffed. Then he took half a step forward and planted
his head into my chest. I will never
forget this magical moment and I will never forget the love pouring from his
very soul. I have always held a healthy
respect (if not slight fear) for horses but suddenly I was standing in their
world, unafraid and unashamed that I had a tear falling from my eye. A tear bathed in moonlight and full of anguish
and humiliation from weeks of torment and hell.
A beautiful moment, a world away
would release those tears. I am not sure
what it means, but somehow I think that one horse came out of the night to lay
his head on my chest and tell me it would all be okay. To not be afraid of the dark and
unknown. To stand fast in the face of
adversity and to be still and allow the power around me to just circle and feel
the moment. I will be forever grateful
for that night and for a kind soul who knew that the power of those incredible
souls could touch me in a way I never knew.
The bottle of wine, crackling fire in the fireplace, and the peaceful,
easy conversation that followed were only reminders of what it means to stand
in the dark and face the unknown.
Sometimes if we stand in the darkness, under a full moon, we can find
the ghosts in the night and bask in the glory and grace of their presence. If given that opportunity, relish it and be
still in the night. Extend your hand,
your heart, and let the white horse bring you peace.
