The Simple Things

The term "Doing Time" conjures up images of an inmate locked in solitary confinement. It brings about a sense of loneliness and utter insanity. While I enjoy "me" time just as much as the next guy, and while a solo wilderness journey is a tale in itself, my time on the couch since this injury has been about as close to solitary confinement as I ever wish to get. I got bored enough to count the boards on the ceiling (37 in case you are wondering) as well as the knots (lost count and got too frustrated to carry on) and watched some pretty drab movies. I do love to read, but I thoroughly enjoy taking my reading outside, under a tree, on a rock, or just about anywhere. However, no matter what I "enjoy" a little variety makes a subtle difference yet enhances any experience or activity. Laying here on this couch (thank God it is a futon) for the last 11 days has made me as close to a raving lunatic as anything in this lifetime is sure to. I think we have all seen movies that depict the lone prisoner locked in his cell and asked our selves, could we handle that? Well without an ounce of doubt, my answer is a resounding HELL NO. I would knock my own damn teeth out and uses them as tools to chisel my way out. I would cut this plate and screws from my foot and fashion it into some sort of crude instrument to burrow my way back into sanity. One bloody pebble at a time.

Okay, now that its settled (the fact that I could not be a prisoner) lets move on. Today was a day that I will not soon forget. I went outside..got in a car and went to town. I got to roll the window down and smell fresh air. I walked on a sidewalk, and felt the sun on my face. My hair tingled and not from the narcotics pulsing through my veins...it was wind. Pure, glorious, fresh, clean, mountain wind. I saw clouds and went up to the lake. I sat under an Aspen tree and felt green grass between my toes. I smelt dirt. I saw the sun glisten on the rippled water. Best of all? I sat in a lawn chair and watched my little girl ride her bike. In all this down time (25 days) I have done so little. Anytime out of the house was at my desk or at the doctors office. Something so simple brought such bliss. She just giggled. A sound that most of us take for granted on any given day. Not this day. Her little legs propelled her like a rocket. I swear I could hear every link in her chain as it would grind around the sprockets. The look of determination as she would glance over to make sure I was watching.

I know that I may someday get back to "normal"...no I WILL get my life back, but I will never look at the simple things with the same eyes that I had before. Seems when you get knocked down and "locked up" the way I have, you really begin to miss such little simplicities. I may miss a beat here and there in my recovery, but I truly hope I don't miss a beat when it comes to the appreciation we should all have for simple things that just pass us by. Like a shooting start on a full moon night, it all feels so amplified now. Maybe this has been good for me. Maybe this is the silver lining. Maybe this is just the beginning of new realizations and missed sensations.