Vicariously Stoked

At times in our lives we seem to just operate on cruise control. Our day to day lives tend to get in the way of the perpetual stoke that we all have available. It is a God given right to be psyched about life and the opportunity that we have on this incredible dust ball. I am just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to this lack of focus and/or appreciation to the inner stoke that we all possess. However hard I try, I can't always be perfect and run around bouncing off the walls just because I can. I do try though !!!

Last week we were bouldering at Turtle Lake after work. It was a great day with a group of friends. Like most days, we were all pretty amped just to be out there together. The weather was PHENOMENAL. Overcast, cool, and utterly beautiful. I think there were about 12 of us there. Everyone was pretty focused on what they were doing. I had just done a pretty casual high ball (approx 20') and was just sitting up top enjoying the view of downtown Durango and the stunning view of the La Plata mountains. It wasn't a day that stood out much. Just a great time bouldering, hanging with friends, and just enjoying another day where we all woke up and got to enjoy life. I wasn't exactly sending everything I touched, but my muscles let me know that I was giving it all that I had.

So as the day wore into early evening, my thoughts gradually shifted to the everyday life. Things like, what had to be done when we got home like getting the kids ready for bed, making sure I had clothes for the next day's work, etc, etc. The energy that had built up during our evening bouldering session had taken a temporary hiatus from the forethought of my mind. It was time to gather the kids, the gear, the crash pads, and make the drive home. While that drive is a beautiful journey in itself, I find myself glancing in the rearview hoping that I can hang onto the time we just shared. My wife is usually right next to me, and the slight smile on her face tells me that she feels the energy that I do. I try to hang onto that feeling for as long as I can, but I know that I am not different than any other climber - we constantly chase that energy and those memories. Our lives would be boring if we were "non-climbers".

As we were getting ready to leave, Peg decided to cruise up the little highball. I sat up top and took the photo above. It isn't like her to cut loose and find her "zone". The picture does NOT do the "little problem" justice. It is pretty high and would certainly lead to a fairly significant injury should you fall. The look in her eyes just captured my attention. So I watched. Watched as she scanned the rock, knowing she was without a rope, and staying focused to get the job done. She made the top and down climbed off the back. Then as we were walking back to the group, she said in the most carefree and energy infused tone, "God I love climbing". What more is there to say? She summed up so many feelings in one statement. Vicarously I felt the tingle in her soul. We walked away, cleaned up, and came home. Those words are stuck in my head. Not so much what was said, but how it was said and when it was said.

I know that I can't walk around with my head in the clouds everyday, all day, 24 hours a day, but I sure as hell try. I knew the look in her eye. Her mind was free. Her soul shivered. She felt alive. She makes me feel alive.