The Challenge

My life has always been mercurial at best. Just when I think I have it figured out, it takes a twist, a turn, or a detour that I hadn’t expected. As the years pass I become more and more comfortable with this journey. I don’t need a destination, only a desire to keep the adventure going. The years have been so chocked full of “detours” that I can scarcely remember a time when I didn’t take a side route to get where I was going. Likewise, I can’t imagine another way. I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy, in relation to work and goals. Give me the work and get out of my way. I’ll get there, I’ll figure it out, and I’ll get through in order to get to where I am going. I’ve always been a bit goal oriented and when I make up my mind to do something, to say that I am “driven” can usually seem like a gross understatement. Roadblocks, detours, or any bump in the road, just becomes a part of the journey. As I move through this life I find myself noticing these things more. Not in angst or anger, but in a way where I start to see these things as part of the overall picture. It’s just part of the process and I might as well learn to enjoy these challenges as opposed to whining or letting them stop my forward momentum. In my mind, it is better to take a moment and enjoy the challenge than to simply throw your arms up and quit. I’ve gained so very much from the little detours in my life and I’m quite certain that I would not be who I am today without the struggles, without the curves in the road, without the challenges. If life were easy, it’d be boring.

And so it is that I find myself once again wandering from the path that I have become so accustomed to. I’ve spent the last 4 years going through trials that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. First a devastating injury from a climbing fall which gave me the opportunity to learn to walk again. That’s right, I said “opportunity” because I learned how fortunate I am to even be able to do so. I endured a brutal divorce only to become a better man, and a better father. I found a way to truly express all the fight and rage that was encompassed within me by returning to my roots, by finding an outlet over the last 4 years, and that outlet has been fighting. Training in the gym, sparring, rollin’…MMA. It too has become a journey but one that I find myself detoured from once again. It has/had become so much of my life that when I recently hurt my knee, I figured it was just another injury that I’d plow through and get back on my road. Where was this road ever taking me? I have no clue, but it has been one heck of a ride. This time is different though. The knee injury is by all accounts pretty serious. I say serious because “not” going into the gym to train, to spar, etc…that’s serious business to me. It’s what I do! So I’ve had to slow my roll once again. I’ve tried going in and “taking it easy” but apparently I’m not good at that. So I’ve had to look at some other opportunities, some different challenges, and some things I can do to keep the fires stoked, and so as I did years ago when I suffered a bad back injury, I have turned again to Yoga.

Yoga isn’t new to me. As I said, I spent a long time, years ago, discovering yoga and delving into it for about a year. I, along with my doctor, were really quite amazed that the difference a dedicated yoga practice made in the rehabilitation of my back injury. I kept to it for a while, but slowly it fell to the wayside as my life transitioned into owning my own guide service, having a full time job, and being a dad. There just didn’t seem to be time for yoga. Jump forward to winter of 2011. I was preparing to go to India, to climb in the Himalayas, and had started to deal with some very serious injuries from all my fighting. My girlfriend had continually hounded me to slow down and listen to my body. Needless to say I didn’t want to listen to her, much less my body. I was on a roll, getting super fit, and fighting better than I ever had before. Martial Arts had a hold on me and had returned to my life in a big way. I fell in love with Muay Thai while still in high school, and had trained hard for about 4 years around that time. My girl was so gentle, and yet so persistant, and yet I was so completely determined to spend all of my time in the gym. Finally I relented just so I could spend some time with her doing what she was so passionate about. I went to a yoga class with her at Yoga Durango.

It felt good, it felt right, as was the case all those years before my body responded. When I got to India I could feel the effects of restarting a practice in yoga. I was much calmer, more limber, more settled, and I felt a tremendous amount of peace. I figured it was 2 parts my yoga practice, and one part the place I was in. So, I came home and continued to go to yoga as much as possible, but once again the fighting took a hold of me. My yoga practice took a back seat to my desire to fight. Now I am unable to get into the gym and train. My girlfriend has watched it all and endured the pain with me. She has been silent witness to the agony both physically and mentally. Her words always kind and gentle, but repeatedly I’d hear her utter the same statement.. “you need yoga”. So last week I relented and went to my favorite class. Candlelight Vinyasa. My friend Amber, simply stated, has an amazing practice and shares it in a very real way. I love her classes and being on Friday nights, after a long week, well that sure doesn’t hurt. As I was checking in to her class she said “you should do the Fall Yoga Challenge”. What is it you ask? Yoga, 4 times a week, for one month along with two group meetings. As my body moved through the poses over the next hour, my mind instantly felt the effects along with my body. I was home. I quickly found the peace in the rhythm, the silence in the asana. My mind was calm. I walked out last night knowing that I had accepted her challenge….

As I stop and read what I’ve written above, I laugh to myself. How cyclical my life can be?! Train hard, get hurt, rest, yoga, repeat. It’s different now. I have a woman by my side who really gets me. She sees right through the façade and seems to see me for all that I am. She sits silently and watches as I put my body through the grind, and then she’s there to help me up (literally) and gently push me to “find my way” and to explore the “other path”. For me yoga is the road less traveled, and yet I find myself here once again embracing that time on my mat. I began the challenge last night with Hot Vinyasa. Have I mentioned my TOTAL disdain for heat? Give me arctic yoga and I’d show up naked and smiling, but I figured if I’m going to accept this “challenge”, this detour, I was going to make the best of it and really step out beyond my comfort zone. As I left class last night, I stepped out onto the street to a stunningly clear, star filled, frigid, rocky mountain sky. The air seemed infused with life, or was it just me? Had I found that peace again? After only an hour? Time will tell, but I am up to this challenge. I am open to what I find there. The challenge to me is to slow down, don’t abuse my body, and realize that being kind to my body may not be such a bad thing. Who knows, maybe this detour is actually the route I am supposed to be on.