Inevitably we get older and life begins to take on new meaning. The winds of change take effect a little at a time but as we age, I believe that we reflect on our lives and begin to see what we have become and where we have gone. I have friends that have spent time reflecting on their lives and in doing so have realized they have not been "living" the way that they had always said they would. Some of those friends have quit jobs and hit the road. Some have gone back to school. Others have picked up an instrument that they always wanted to play. Since my little wreck with gravity, I picked up the guitar and began learning. There has always been music in me, in one form or another, I have always tapped my feet, hummed a song, or as my wife would tell you, tapped my fingers constantly to the beat of my own song. I have always loved writing and I have always loved music. Not just listening to music, but listening to the beats, rhythms, and score's of life. Life is music. So I decided to learn. In doing so, I made a commitment to myself - I wouldn't quit and I would put my heart into playing the way that I have into all other endeavors I have set into motion. I'll let you know how it goes. So far? Slow but fun.
Moving to Durango was a life changing event for all of us. We put it all out there and walked precariously out onto the proverbial limb of life. Here we are, almost 3 years later. When we got here, I decided I would fulfil another dream, that was, becoming a firefighter. Wildland and Structural. I have always seen this profession as one of the most noble a man could pursue. For me, it was/is another adrenaline fueled adventure that not only fills my need for constant stimulation, but it allows me to fulfil another need that I have, and that is to help others. While guiding in years past, I realized that emergency medicine was something that I was good at. I could handle it, I thrived under pressure, and I was calm in situations that were dangerous and chaotic. So I volunteered (and get paid for pulling shifts) for the Upper Pine Fire Protection District. Went through my rookie training and finished with flying colors. I realized a lot while going through training. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of info that goes into training a firefighter/EMT. You really learn to respect and fear fire. Towards the end of our rookie class, we were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to train in a flashover trainer. Click the link below for a Youtube video of our actual training. I am the guy filming. All of the training was (and always will be - we never stop training) intense. You really have no idea how hard and dangerous it all is until you go through such training.
So recently someone pointed out that firefighting was "dangerous". With my current state of inability and suffering, I really had the time to stop and think about that. Here I am crippled up for the next year and I still go to trainings and look forward to the day when my radio goes off and I can hop in my truck, drive the mile to the station, and jump in the engine and respond. Just driving down the road in a fully outfitted engine is a danger in itself. MANY firefighters lose their lives yearly to accidents while responding. Then there is the time you spend on scene, standing right up against a burning structure or even worse, having to go in and pull someone out. Or responding to an auto accident where you have to crawl into an unstable vehicle, possibly ready to burn, to get to the victim(s). Yeah, its dangerous, but so is everything else we do. My take is that I have that constant music in my head, I live life pretty close to the edge, and I like to help people. So why not fulfil two lifelong dreams while I still have my health. Music brings me peace as does walking away from helping someone who is having a really bad day. I believe we all want to help others, that is human nature right? I think we all do help others, we just choose to do it in different ways.
My first call out of rookie class is one that I will NEVER forget. When doubt enters my head, and I wonder if the risks are worth it, all I need is that memory to put me back on track. All the time (aside from working full time) to train and respond is unquestionably worth it. So my radio went off after work one night, "Upper Pine Fire and Rescue district 3 (that's my district) Please stand by for a medical page".....I grabbed my radio, threw on my boots and headed for my truck..the call went on to say that a disabled woman needed a lift assist - had fallen out of her wheel chair. I was heading out of our subdivision when the location came out..it was the neighborhood next to us. Keep in mind that we live in the mountains..not in town. So instead of grabbing the engine I just drove over and figured I was going to help a little old lady back to her chair. As I pulled up another volunteer (Mike) was in a pond up to his waist holding a female up out of the water. I jumped out and ran over, her leg was stuck in a culvert running under her driveway. Mike had her head just above water. We got her back onto dry land and shortly after the ambulance arrived. Once we had her hooked up to the monitor we realized her heart rate was DANGEROUSLY low. She had stopped shaking. She was hypodermic. She was paralyzed from the mid-chest area down (due to a car accident in which her husband was killed). So as we warmed her and talked to her, she just couldn't get full sentences out. She was in trouble. We threw her in the bus (aka- ambulance) and off she went.
Turns out she (Chris) was trying to get some sticks out of their pond and took her chair a little to close and in she went. She had been in there almost 20 minutes before her 89 year old mother had stuck her head out the front door and realized something was wrong. She ran (as fast as a walker can go with an 89 year old engine pushing it) to the phone and out came our page. So Chris spent the night in the hospital and that was that. Then during our graduation ceremony (from our rookie class) up pulls a van and who should exit???? Chris! She spoke at the end of the ceremony about how "2 young men pulled her out of the water" and how " she could never have gotten out on her own and how tired she had become trying to hold her head up with her only working limbs- her arms". I kept looking away and at the floor, anything to distract me and keep the tears from falling. She looked us straight in the eye and said "I thank you from the bottom of my heart". That was it for me. I will never forget her or that call. I had made the right choice. All the pain, time, and heartache was (and always will be) worth it. We didn't "save" her...we did what we, or anyone else who might have been there, would have done. We helped someone who was having a really bad day.
So those are two of the little things in my life that I have taken on in my mid years. I don't know if I will ever be REALLY GOOD at either, but like everything else I do, I will never give up and I will always do my best.
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** Here is a link to the video I took in the flashover trainer. Watch the flames as the air and the smoke (ie: fuel) become so hat that they ignite.
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Oh- and the picture above was taken in Ridgeway Colorado. It isn't one of our engines..ours are actually new.
