The fear of public
speaking is often referred to as one of the greatest fears of man, second only
to death. Fear can, and often is, a
debilitating emotion. It can either
motivate us to extents for which we knew not existed or it can be debilitating
and leave us in a figurative crumpled mess on the floor. Fear is the great equalizer among us all. Perhaps it is not fear that controls us but
the inability to face it unaided. We all
are faced with fears on a daily basis and in all facets of our life. The fear of failure, the fear of public
humiliation, and one of the greatest fears above all else, including death, is
the fear of being alone. Learning to
face whatever fears arise in your journey can be particularly rewarding,
regardless of outcome, if you simply acknowledge the fact that fear is nothing
but a feeling. It’s our body’s red flag
to something before us, which is complex, uncomfortable, and quite often a
danger either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or socially. Fear if left unchecked often keeps us from
greater heights as well as greater goodness.
Fear is there to challenge us and to take us somewhere for which we
cannot go if we don’t look it in the face and find a way through it, around it,
over it, or to abolish it from the situation.
To be the champion of your own fear is to be the champion of your very
soul. Fear so often keeps so many from
something far greater just beyond its reach.
It is possible to overcome any fear if you’re willing to become your own
champion and reach deep within to face the fears in the deepest recesses of
your inner self.
For those willing to
sit quietly and simply allow their own fears to surface it can be quite
intimidating. To be still in a space
where we are terrified of the outcome, in and of itself, can be completely
overwhelming. Every day we make the
choice to face so many obstacles and quite frankly fear is one for which most
people would much rather just avoid.
Ultimately we face these demons in absolute solitude. We can hire a guide to help us face our fear
of heights, or the act of barreling down the face of an immense wave, and yet
in the moment of truth we are truly alone as we cross the threshold to the
other side. While we can employ the
services of a coach to help us learn to speak in front of a crowd, we stand
alone in the moment of truth. With a
quiver full of tools for which we’ve acquired throughout our lifetime, we still
must stand and face our fears virtually naked and alone. In the quest to live a great life we must
always move forward and never grow stagnant or comfortable. To push your limits is merely a way to move
those “limits”, take a step forward and do it again. A life void of challenges is no life at
all. We must face our challenges, fears,
obstacles, problems, and situations alone!
Regardless of who’s in your corner you are your own champion. When the bell rings, no on steps into the
cage of life except you!
Quietly you can
reach outwardly for support, for a champion, for someone who believes in you,
but in the end, and in the heat of the battles you will face it is YOU who will
face down the demons that haunt you.
When you realize that the only person who is permanent in your life is
the one looking at you in the mirror, you can stop searching outwardly for
support….for someone to be your champion…and realize in that very moment that
you have all that you need within to allow you to overcome any obstacle you
face. We all want support. We all want even just that one person who
will have your back in the worst of times and yet again as life progresses and
we age, we find that as the seasons of life change and we walk on, the one
person we can rely on is that same man (or woman) staring at us in the
mirror. No one can fight our battles for
us, and quite frankly no one can understand what’s inside us, so we must learn
to retreat within our own minds and find the courage to take the next step.
As a species I don’t
believe we are meant to be alone and yet I believe that until we learn to be
alone we cannot truly push the limits that have held us back on so many
levels. Until we learn to retreat deeper
within and face the fears that hold us back, until that time, we cannot make
the steps forward into the greatness that awaits us. The most debilitating obstacle we all face is
the fear of being alone. As a society we
are so incredibly “social” in nature that there’re no mysteries anymore. Every corner of the earth seems to have been
discovered. Every mountain has been
climbed, and still the greatest journey lies within us and yet most are so
afraid to climb deep within and see the majesty that we all possess internally. We surround ourselves with distractions,
people, photos, etc. Social media has
taken the mystery out of anything. It
takes only a matter of minutes to log on and “get to know” someone. There’re no unexplored arenas when we put
ourselves out there to the extent that we are no longer anonymous. That fear of being unseen, unheard, and alone
has created an incredible vortex of information and societal backwash filled
with information overload. That fear of
being alone (or anonymous) has crippled our sense of adventure. The utter fear of solitude has led us to put
it all out there on public display hoping that someone will notice us.
We are all
guilty…even me, and yet through the trials of the last couple years in my life
I’ve found the greatest strength when I realize I am truly alone! People come and go, time waits for no one,
and the ever-present constant is simply the fact that we are alone. No one will pick up the sword and charge
forward on your behalf. No matter how
close someone is, they cannot get inside and understand the fears you
face. All too often those you’ve let in
simply turn and walk away and that’s just how life goes. It’s one of the greatest gifts in life, to
let someone in close, and yet again until you realize you still stand alone you
cannot truly appreciate the incredible gift of having that someone so
close. A beautiful metaphor (which I
seem to utilize often) is that life is so incredibly similar to the art of
pugilism. It’s a constant dance full of
battles, rests, grace, and love! Yes
love! And yet until we realize that no
matter who is in our corner we must do our fighting alone…we cannot truly
embrace or appreciate the ability we have to become our own champion! Until we can take a step back and embrace the
silence and overcome the fear of being alone/anonymous….we cannot truly take
the steps forward and push our limits to the next level. Until we stop counting the number of “likes”
we have, or the number of “friends” we have…until then we cannot appreciate
those who stand closest to us…who stand in our corner and become the champions (in
their own right) who will see us off into each obstacle/battle we face. Until we lift the fog of false pretense that
surrounds us daily, we will not see the beauty which still lies not only before
us, but deep within us in the quiet spaces devoid of anything but the pure
beauty that we all posses.
Personally it’s been
an awkward journey for me as well.
Something I’m still working on as I retreat back to the foundations I
know exists. As the circle (of friends,
companions, supporters, etc.) continues to shrink, by choice, I find that those
still standing in my corner are so much more radiant, supportive, and
genuine. There’s an authenticity that
exists when you go forth to face all of your fears with the subtle support of
your inner circle and yet with the most profound knowledge that in the end…you
stand alone to face your demons! So be
your own champion and whatever challenges you face don’t muddy the waters with
distractions. Don’t expect others to
numb the pain. Fear not what lies before
you and trust deeply in the abilities, strength, and fortitude that lies within
you! Fear is nothing but a feeling and
like all feelings it too shall pass! So
stand up and face it head on like the champion you are!
