The sound resonates through my soul. From my bones all the way to the epidermis. I hear that melodic sound all these years
later. I was raised around the sea and
once that sound permeates your being, you cannot ever shake it. The smell of the salty air and the feeling of
warm sand under your toes are all equally tantalizing. It makes my pulse race and my skin crawl
thinking of standing there all those days, mornings, and evenings of my
life. Staring at the sea, reading the
sets, studying, looking for the best line, calming the soul, and feeling the
pull of that space. Riding a wave,
sliding along, feeling its energy is something you think you can imagine, until
you do it, and only then do you realize that you had no clue how incredible of
a feeling it was before you actually did it.
It’s a sensation like no other.
It’s something you cannot completely describe to one who has yet to
slide along the face of something made of pure energy coming from the sea.
I have spent the entirety of my life, when
not being a husband, or father, or a provider, chasing my dreams. Chasing the challenges that come to me in the
night. Dancing with the demons, the
fears, the sensations, that fuel the fire within. I’ve never been able to just run the middle
line and be like most folks. I prefer to
hang it out there a bit further and to not make excuses as to why I cannot do
this, that, or chase a dream. We’ve
always lived in some pretty remarkable places, from Alaska, Hawaii, to
California, and now Colorado. I find
peace in these arenas. I find solace and
love in the high mountains, and I find life, passion, and a deeper peace in the
sea. There’s no sound quite like the
melody that resonates from the sea, no silence like that found on some high
alpine face. As my life has changed,
evolved, and unfolded before me, I feel more and more drive to find these
moments within these arenas. It’s hard
to convey to anyone who’s not as driven, but you know that deep within you
there’s an insatiable drive to seek out these places and all of the moments
that they have to offer. It’s so
incredibly hard to explain to those around you why you can never stop exploring
these environments, never stop filling your tank with the high octane
sensations you bring home from the mountains and the sea.
I often feel as though I am living my life
backwards. In reverse of the way most of
society sees fit to spend one’s middle to later years. I don’t want to grow up! I refuse to settle and I damn sure won’t slow
down until I have to. I’ve spent my time
on the sidelines due to injury, the need to push my career more, and due to
being in an incredibly unhealthy relationship where my fire was all but extinguished. I know now that to relinquish your flame to
any one person is synonymous to giving up your very soul. Whatever passions ignite the fire within
you, you must at all cost feed that flame or you suffer the chances of your
burning passion going out, or worse yet, becoming just like so many other souls
out there just punching the clock of life and bumbling through the God given
days that are so precious. To yield when
your drive is untamable is nothing short of throwing in the towel.
I’ve chased these passions for all of my
years and I know now that it is who I am.
I do not want to take my last breath with a list of “could haves” in my
heart. I want that list to be worn,
tattered, full of crossed off dreams, held together by a thread from years of
being rewritten and redefined. I want to
live so completely that I someday lay exhausted in one of these arenas staring,
unblinking, upon a glorious sky, knowing that I chased the waves, danced with
gravity, stoked my fire, and rode this raging bull called life until I could
hang on no more. When all of these elements
come together within me I can scarcely contain the desire to grab my gear, grab
my boards, point my truck in some far off direction, and go! Go brilliantly towards the sea, towards the
mountains of my life, towards the next far flung place. I’ve climbed all over this world, surfed up
and down the Pacific, run some incredibly remote trails, and paddled class V+
rivers…and nearly lay upon each to take my last breath. And yet I cannot stop the raging inferno
within. I cannot explain the desire to
keep on going, to seek out the next adventure, and to ABSOLUTELY immerse myself
into the sensations pouring from each. I
am here only a short time. If you
believe conventional science, I would be about half way through this life, and
yet I feel as though I’m only half way primed.
We are all dying, each of us growing older with each passing day. Each of us beginning the process of dying
from the moment we are born. Or are
we? We can use that axiom as fuel to
push us to get after our dreams! But we
can also look at it as I do…that I’ve just begun! Yesterday was but a day to prepare me for
greater glory…bigger waves, higher mountains, longer runs, and rivers raging
ever more fiercely. Today is the
day! Now is the time. Get up and move on from yesterday into a
better tomorrow. Train harder, run
further, charge your waves, and let your fire find its sea! Whatever your passion, find the music in it,
find the dance, feel the love, and keep chasing those dreams, for today is one
day closer to the day you look back upon your list! Will you smile, or regret? That choice is yours..TODAY!
